Does Worshipping via Technology Set a Questionable Example at Home?

This post was originally written on February 24th, 2013...

The other day I was sitting down studying scripture on my iPhone  when my 5 year old walked up to me and asked, “Dad what game are you playing”?

I answered him and said, “I’m not playing a game bud, I am reading the Bible”. He responded and said “that’s not a Bible dad, that’s a phone”.

So it was at that moment that I realized that even though I am studying the Bible, I just might want to re-think how I worship on a daily basis during my *not always so quiet* quiet time at home.  🙂

Technology is a GREAT tool that grants us access to many ways to learn and grow in our walk with Jesus. However…It has become a new challenge for me to start using my real, physical, Bible when I am studying at home. I don’t want my kids to grow up saying “dad was always on his phone all the time”, unaware that I was actually reading the scriptures. Even though a lot of those times I was indeed, studying and learning how to teach my kids about the Gospel, I would much rather them grow up remembering how I was “always reading the Bible” instead.

Just a little moment that I wanted to share with you, cause it has made a difference in how I spend my *not always so quiet* quiet time.

Is worshipping via technology setting a questionable example in your home?

A Story of Suffering and Joy

This post was originally written on February 21st, 2017.

8 years ago today, my wife, Kayla went into labor 8 1/2 months into her pregnancy due to a “weird feeling”. We were nervous, but excited about the arrival of our son, Levi Joseph Massey. There was a complication with his life support internally while he was still in the womb and by the end of the evening we had lost our son and we would not have the opportunity to raise him, to teach him about life, or to watch him wrestle with his big brother, Ryan.

The human body of a female carries between 9 and 10 pints of blood, and due to a placental abruption, my wife, Kayla lost between 7 and 8 of those pints. After about 14 hours of pumping plasma and blood back into Kayla’s body, the doctors told us that if she had arrived 15 minutes later to the hospital that there was no way she could have lived.

In the last 8 years, we have had the honor of raising our oldest son, Ryan, and raising our youngest son, Ryder. My wife is healthy and alive, and our marriage is stronger than it has ever been.

Why would I share this story with social media? To get attention? No. To get remorseful comments from others? No.

I share this story because I want to encourage others who may be suffering in the same way.

My wife and our family went through hell when we lost our son. It brought heart ache, it brought challenges to each one of us that nearly crushed our marriage.

But…..Today…..I am thankful for the suffering. Because the suffering has played a part in shaping Kayla and I into the man and woman that we are today. It has taught us what long suffering with your spouse should look like. It taught us what community with others looks like and how to love and serve others before yourself when their life is falling apart. In spite of my personal preferences(that my son would have lived and still be alive today), I trust God the Father, as in…God, the One who Created the universe in 6 days, and the One who loved so much that He sent His Son Jesus (the Messiah) to provide life to those who are dead, life for those who are hurting and feeling alone and hopeless. Life for the broken, for the drug addict, the prostitute, the sexual deviant, the liar, the hypocrites, and republicans, the democrats, selfish money lovers, the thieves, the drunks, the atheists, the agnostics, the people questioning their sexuality, the “Christians” who think they are better than everyone else, the sonless mom’s, the absent dads, the abusers, and the ones who are ready to just give up and end it all. There is life available for all of us. This life has given me hope and a promise. Part of that promise, though not the main focus, is that I will get to see my son again some day because I have received and felt the love of the Father, and the life that has been extended to me through the the perfect and complete work of Jesus and His sacrifice on a bloody cross when He died in my place to pay the price for my sin, my darkness, and my rebellious depravity. For my thinking that I can get this thing called “life” done by myself through my own efforts.

I am grateful for the suffering, because I know that God is sovereign, and that God is faithful, and that nothing happens without Him allowing it to, and I know that as much as it has hurt, He is wiser, and smarter than I am and knows what is best. I know that this part of our lives has been used and will continue to be used to love and serve others when they are in the midst of their suffering.

I know that I am better equipped to relate to and to talk to others who have suffered loss and pain because I have suffered loss and pain. I can talk about the hope, love, and peace of the Father that only comes through Jesus because I know first hand what it feels like. I can say, that there is joy in suffering because I have felt joy in suffering.

I can say this with confidence because I have searched for comfort and peace through so many other things in my life, whether through people, pornography, friendships, family members, music and art, etc…EVERY ONE of those things failed me and was never enough to heal or bring a lasting peace or comfort. It was only when I finally said “ok, God, I’m done, you take over” did I find a lasting peace. 8 years later, I still feel hurt and feel sadness that my son is not present with me today. But I also feel strength and can remain stable and at peace because I trust God the Father and because He has proven to me time and time again through many seasons of suffering that He is close and not far. That He is wise and that He works all things together for the sake of revealing His glory to all people, and I want my life to be a reflection of His goodness to others, and I want my life to be lived out in a way that makes Him famous and that makes Him look amazing. So He gets all the credit for the health of Kayla and I’s life.

I believe that every day is a part of God’s story and plan to reveal His power and glory to the World, and I know that He has chosen me to be a part of His story, and I am honored to fill my role in it. I trust Him because He is trustworthy, and though I do not understand all of His ways and reasons right now, I know that I will someday, and then it will all make sense. But for now…I just trust Him….It has certainly been better than trying to control everything myself…Because trying to do my own thing never works out well for me. 🙂

If you are suffering and need hope, I know a guy…His name is Jesus.

It’s not a building, it’s not a group of people, and it’s not a weekly church service. It’s just…..Jesus. Sure, those other things have their place and parts to play, but they are not the answer. They should be pointing TO the answer :)

I have never used my story to pressure or manipulate people to “change their ways”, or “change their beliefs”. I have and always will simply tell my story (when necessary), including the part about who the Hero of the story is, and then I’ll let you work out the changes in your own timing. I will always use my story as an opportunity to love others well, to meet them where they are at without an agenda or any expectations, and just simply encourage them that if they are running out of options in life, I would love to sit down with you and just listen to your story, and then if you’d like, I can point you to a great option that offers a solution. Just ask me about it sometime….. 

The 5 Things

Even when we know all the right answers, we are still susceptible to the addiction of pornography and lust. Because “there is a difference between knowing the Gospel vs. experiencing the Gospel.”

Knowing the Gospel does not guarantee a heart change. A heart change only comes when the Spirit begins to make the Gospel real to us, and begins the work inside of us Himself. It’s only when we surrender to Him and make ourselves vulnerable to that change, that we will begin to break free from the stronghold of lust and addiction.

This is because the simple knowledge of the Gospel alone requires something more than just head knowledge for it to begin to bring change. It requires a receptive heart, and due to the fall of man, our hearts in their natural state are hardened towards the truth of the Gospel. Therefore, it takes the softening of the heart by the power of the Holy Spirit so that we can be affected by the Gospel and begin to experience it’s truth and power in our hearts and minds.

This experience brings change. A change in the way we see, and a change in the things we seek after. Seeing and seeking differently comes from a desire to honor God, honor our spouse, and to protect our families from the dangers of sin and addiction.

This desire itself is a gift granted to us by the Holy Spirit called repentance. Repentance = Seeing our sin for what it really is and turning from it, and putting it to death. It is the mortification of self indulgence.

After being addicted to lust and pornography for over 13 years, this stronghold finally broke when the Spirit placed a desire inside of me to have my heart and mind re-wired. I wanted to see and understand God’s design for sex and intimacy. After confession to my wife and some trusted friends and beginning a life of daily prayer, this change began to take place in me. I prayed for 5 Things every single day. I prayed that He would help me to see these 5 things differently, the way that He sees them.

Here are those 5 things:

#1 – God

God help me to see You for who You really are. The Creator of the universe who designed all things to be good, right, and perfect.

He is the the One who provides all that I need. He is sufficient, He is enough, He is satisfying, He is my comfort, He loves me, He wants me, He pays attention to me, and pursues me.

He is all powerful and in control. He is sovereign, knowing all things and in charge of all things.

#2 – Myself

God help me to see myself the way You see me. Helpless without You. Hopeless without You. Without You I am not nothing and I can do nothing. I am fully dependent upon you for survival, for You are not an accessory, but a sustenance that I must have. Because in my flesh I am selfish and weak. Lonely and oppressed. Powerless…

However, because of Your grace and mercy and the finished work of Jesus I am loved. I am valued, I am provided for. I am comforted and befriended. I am pursued and tended to. I am satisfied in You alone. I am safe and secure in the new identity that You have given me and I need not search for value in anything outside of You because I am satisfied in You and by You through the goodness You have shown me.

I am a son of the most High God, and You have called me Your own, and You care for me.

#3 – My Wife

God help me to see my wife the way that you see her. A created being made in Your image. A woman that You made to reflect Your glory, that you deemed good. Remind me that she is a good gift that You have blessed me with to honor, to cherish, and to respect. You have shaped and molded her to be fitting and sufficient for the role of my wife, best friend, and partner.

Help me to feel the weight of leading her well, to be an example of Jesus to her. To keep her safe and protected like a fragile vase. Help me to remember that she is your daughter that You have trusted me with.

Remind me that her heart is more important than her body, and that she is to be loved on before being lusted over.

#4 – Women

God help me to see women the way that You see them. As cherished creations that You called good, and are to be protected and valued. Remind me that women are made in Your image to expand Your glory. Help me to see women as precious gifts that you have called to be wives for other men. To be mothers and sister, friends and daughters. Daughters of You, our Heavenly Father to be honored and respected, not used and abused for our own self indulgence.

Help me to see women as human beings with a heart and soul rather than an object for physical gratification. You formed women to be attractive and beautiful, to fit the needs and desires of the husbands that You have called them to, as part of Your true design for sex, intimacy, and marriage. Not the cheap skewed design that man has made it to be.

#5 – Sin

God help me to see sin as You see it. It is a curse. I cancer that eats away at the joy that You have provided for me, and taints the life You have granted to me when I allow it to consume me and to run freely in my thoughts and actions. Remind me that sin separates me from You by driving a wedge in our relationship. Help me to remember that sin is a lie that promises maximum results with minimal delivery which always leaves me feeling alone and abandoned.

Remind me that sin is a killer. A murderer of marriage, a preventer of all the things that You have called good. Remind me that sin is a toxin that dissolves friendships and intimacy.

Help me to remember that sin is a lie that says that You are not enough, and that the created is greater than the Creator.