Even when we know all the right answers, we are still susceptible to the addiction of pornography and lust. Because “there is a difference between knowing the Gospel vs. experiencing the Gospel.”
Knowing the Gospel does not guarantee a heart change. A heart change only comes when the Spirit begins to make the Gospel real to us, and begins the work inside of us Himself. It’s only when we surrender to Him and make ourselves vulnerable to that change, that we will begin to break free from the stronghold of lust and addiction.
This is because the simple knowledge of the Gospel alone requires something more than just head knowledge for it to begin to bring change. It requires a receptive heart, and due to the fall of man, our hearts in their natural state are hardened towards the truth of the Gospel. Therefore, it takes the softening of the heart by the power of the Holy Spirit so that we can be affected by the Gospel and begin to experience it’s truth and power in our hearts and minds.
This experience brings change. A change in the way we see, and a change in the things we seek after. Seeing and seeking differently comes from a desire to honor God, honor our spouse, and to protect our families from the dangers of sin and addiction.
This desire itself is a gift granted to us by the Holy Spirit called repentance. Repentance = Seeing our sin for what it really is and turning from it, and putting it to death. It is the mortification of self indulgence.
After being addicted to lust and pornography for over 13 years, this stronghold finally broke when the Spirit placed a desire inside of me to have my heart and mind re-wired. I wanted to see and understand God’s design for sex and intimacy. After confession to my wife and some trusted friends and beginning a life of daily prayer, this change began to take place in me. I prayed for 5 Things every single day. I prayed that He would help me to see these 5 things differently, the way that He sees them.
Here are those 5 things:
#1 – God
God help me to see You for who You really are. The Creator of the universe who designed all things to be good, right, and perfect.
He is the the One who provides all that I need. He is sufficient, He is enough, He is satisfying, He is my comfort, He loves me, He wants me, He pays attention to me, and pursues me.
He is all powerful and in control. He is sovereign, knowing all things and in charge of all things.
#2 – Myself
God help me to see myself the way You see me. Helpless without You. Hopeless without You. Without You I am not nothing and I can do nothing. I am fully dependent upon you for survival, for You are not an accessory, but a sustenance that I must have. Because in my flesh I am selfish and weak. Lonely and oppressed. Powerless…
However, because of Your grace and mercy and the finished work of Jesus I am loved. I am valued, I am provided for. I am comforted and befriended. I am pursued and tended to. I am satisfied in You alone. I am safe and secure in the new identity that You have given me and I need not search for value in anything outside of You because I am satisfied in You and by You through the goodness You have shown me.
I am a son of the most High God, and You have called me Your own, and You care for me.
#3 – My Wife
God help me to see my wife the way that you see her. A created being made in Your image. A woman that You made to reflect Your glory, that you deemed good. Remind me that she is a good gift that You have blessed me with to honor, to cherish, and to respect. You have shaped and molded her to be fitting and sufficient for the role of my wife, best friend, and partner.
Help me to feel the weight of leading her well, to be an example of Jesus to her. To keep her safe and protected like a fragile vase. Help me to remember that she is your daughter that You have trusted me with.
Remind me that her heart is more important than her body, and that she is to be loved on before being lusted over.
#4 – Women
God help me to see women the way that You see them. As cherished creations that You called good, and are to be protected and valued. Remind me that women are made in Your image to expand Your glory. Help me to see women as precious gifts that you have called to be wives for other men. To be mothers and sister, friends and daughters. Daughters of You, our Heavenly Father to be honored and respected, not used and abused for our own self indulgence.
Help me to see women as human beings with a heart and soul rather than an object for physical gratification. You formed women to be attractive and beautiful, to fit the needs and desires of the husbands that You have called them to, as part of Your true design for sex, intimacy, and marriage. Not the cheap skewed design that man has made it to be.
#5 – Sin
God help me to see sin as You see it. It is a curse. I cancer that eats away at the joy that You have provided for me, and taints the life You have granted to me when I allow it to consume me and to run freely in my thoughts and actions. Remind me that sin separates me from You by driving a wedge in our relationship. Help me to remember that sin is a lie that promises maximum results with minimal delivery which always leaves me feeling alone and abandoned.
Remind me that sin is a killer. A murderer of marriage, a preventer of all the things that You have called good. Remind me that sin is a toxin that dissolves friendships and intimacy.
Help me to remember that sin is a lie that says that You are not enough, and that the created is greater than the Creator.